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Friday, August 20, 2010

Waxing- The good, the bad, and the very, very ugly

I'm going to admit something that I really, really loathe about being human. I have body hair. So do you. We're stuck fighting it unless we're undergoing chemo and then...well, body hair is the least of our worries.

Body hair is an evolutionary genetic remnant from a bygone era when we women huddled around caves and used our down to keep warm and fend off insects. In the era of Parisian mini's and sky high heels, furry bodies aren't so necessary, or chic.

I'm of Swedish/French/Native American heritage and that leaves me with what I feel is more than my share of.....hair. I HATE shaving- it's a daily chore that leaves prickly stubble within 24 hours. We women are under societal pressure to be hairless (ie. facial, underarm, tummy, legs, and well....everywhere). That's a lot of stubble. So as I'm saving for the laser, I wanted to try waxing.

Here's what I used to get started:

1. Sally Hansen All-Over Body Wax Removal Kit (extra strength, lol, neanderthal city!)
2. Body Oil (in this case, Neutrogena Sesame)
3. Lotion- Magnifico by Designer Skin, you can find it anywhere tanning supplies are sold.
4. A nice patch of fluff you want to rip out painfully with wax- pick a spot. I chose my forearm, near my left wrist. Sexy!

I'm going to put this out for the world to know, without shame, that I shave my arms from the elbow down. I used to have white hair, but it's now gone a bit brown and I don't like it. Hence, I razor it off. But, I have been growing it out (gross) to now wax. Take a look. We're becoming quite close now, aren't we?

I spread the wax (heated in the blue tub for 25 seconds in the ol' nuker) onto a small patch, ready to go. I applied it with the tongue depressor/stick in the direction of the hair growth in an approx 3x3' patch.

I then placed a paper strip on the wax. Longer strips work better and give more leverage for pulling off. Nothing hurts worse than when you aim to pull it off and your hand slips, hurting and still leaving hair that you have to repeat on. Ouch.

Then, after rubbing the paper on firmly an counting to myself, I pulled the strip off in the opposite direction of the hair. To be honest, I had my husband help with the thighs and underarms (true love, no?) and after every rip, I'd run around in my skivvies saying, "Ow! Ow!" waving my arms around. I think he kinda liked it...payback for how sassy and mouthy I am.

Above is right after, not so red. But give it 10 minutes or so and you'll have a tingly, blotchy spot if you're fair with darker body hair, like me. I then rubbed the body oil on (the kit comes with a tiny tube of oil, but it goes fast, you'll need a bottle) to remove excess wax. All shiny and bare skin, I felt like a WWF wrestler greased up and ready to go! Yeah!

This is a few minutes after waxing and you can kinda see what was left and what was removed. I wish it were more clear- like Steve Carell and his chest....but thankfully, this is the best I could do.
Again, hard to see, but there it is.

Finally, I'm a 'proof' kind of girl. I'm disgusting enough to totally check out the Biore pore strips and see the little 'trees' foresting on the strip after I pull it off. Gross but effective. Above is the result of my little pull on my arm. My kids all looked at it and simultaneously went, "Ewwwww Mooooommm!" and backed away. Forget spanking, threaten to wax!

So here's the lowdown:

1. Does it remove hair and not skin like the box says? No, they lied. You will have some rawness trying to repeat on the same area and there will be some wispies. Pluck or try tomorrow to get them. Best results are on hair you can see that resemble a Boho hippie who hasn't shaved in 2 weeks.

2. Does it hurt. YES. If you drink, grab some wine. If you want, take an anti-inflammatory like Advil/Ibuprofen, wait 20 minutes and then wax. I'm warning you, choose someone you trust or go to a salon for sensitive areas like the bikini. Don't pretend you are naturally hairless and be coy and squawk over it. Yours won't be the first bum they've seen. Just get it done and have a laugh. I'm holding out on that just yet as my leg hurt so badly that I can't imagine anyone peering to China on me and then putting hot wax. Uh, no. My huband offered, we'll see.

3. How long does it last? I'm not sure yet. I'll let you guys know. So far, it's nice to go 3 days and not have stubble and it hurts less as I get used to it. It does beat shaving, yes!

So.....Wax 1, hair 0. Sweet! Feel free to share your waxing stories and any tips for enduring the ordeal. I am seriously wanting to hear from you girls that have gotten a Brazilian wax. That's next on the agenda and well, I wanna hear the truth! :)


MartianDelights said...

OMG Girl just seen what's in your handbag !!! I thought mine was bad I now feel much better about it lol !

I don't really like wax with strips... I found it didn't grab the short hairs and after rinsing the strips a few times they'd lose their grip power and wouldn't peel the wax off as well...

For the last few years I have been using wax that makes a strip on its own... it's really good and it really grabs the teeny hairs. I use it to do my upper lip and eyebrows as well, the result is much better I think.

I also do armpits and bikini line. It hurts, but you must always make sure you pull the skin and also that you remove the wax strip by staying as close to the skin as you can. The only problem is the blobs of wax stuck in the hairs that are left lol, sometimes they glue to your knickers and it's even more painful than waxing when you're getting undressed !

Well after all that I am still a lazy moo and I shave my legs, because they're just too big an area to wax and I really haven't got the patience. I have a depilator somewhere and I like it, but half the time I can't be bothered to get it out of the drawer !

KittenMittens said...

lmao!! I am too much of a chicken to attempt to wax. And I know your furry pain, I'm Dutch/German/French/Native so we're similar in our fuzzy herritage :D
I would love to be uber rich and just laser it all off.

Robyn said...

Thanks for sharing your waxing experience. I've never been professionally waxed but have thought about it. I've waxed my own brows a couple of times in the past to get rid of the peach fuzz that's hard to get with a tweezer but that's about it.

I'm really a razor gal. I shave something pretty much every day. After a friend told me that she shaved her arms, I started doing it too about a year ago. Although my arm hair is light in color, it's looong. I wish I had started shaving it off years ago. I love having them smooth and hair free.

I might give a professional "down there" wax some serious thought. I shave everything but a little landing strip and I have to do it every couple of days to keep things tidy. After years and years of this, it's getting old. But the fear of the pain has kept me out of the salon.

Let us know if you decide to take the plunge yourself.